Heaven's not so far from Oklahoma

Pause to remember.

Nothing's stopping me from going out with all of your best friends

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

How bout an autograph for your biggest fan

I was about to break into a tirade about why the hell people don't update their blogs more often so I have something semi interesting to read when I realized it's been 13 days since I've bothered to come here. Not, understood, that this is anything interesting or worth reading... but, still.

Carry on. I'll be okay.

You look the other way, so sad

Because I have nothing to say that's more worthy of words than this story I found somewhere else, I implore you read and react. I don't know these people any more than you do, but think, what would make a difference if you were in the same situation?

Update: She has been diagnosed with an Atypical Teratoid Rhabdoid Tumor, or AT/RT. Unfortunately, AT/RT is a very rare, very aggressive and highly malignant cancer with a correspondingly high mortality rate.

Everybody keeps retreating

I'm around. I'm twittering. Sort of addicted to it really. Other than that, concentrating hard on my brackets and trying to catch up things I've promised people that I've fallen behind on finishing. I don't feel creative, and it's kinda sucking the energy out of me trying. Anyway. I'm here.

I guess I shoulda saw it comin'

Worth the full almost 6minutes. Thanks, MTV.

Her hair was black and her eyes were blue

We totally just watched a drug deal go down outside the mirrored windows at my office. And I took pictures! Well, a little too late for the exchange (forgot I had my camera)... but I totally got GREAT pictures of the lady setter upper person and the dealer. Not the buyer. :-(

I count the steps, the distance, to the time when it was me and you

The thing about it is that even though I think about it every day, wondering why and what it could have really been, it doesn't control me. I only thought about him once today, then the sweet lady where I buy my daily icy beverages gave me a balloon and some candy and I forgot all about it. Then my boss gave me a valentine and a cookie, and I was already way past it. My dad took me to dinner and the basketball game and I never thought about him once. I didn't look at all the happy couples at the restaurant wishing that was me. I'm okay being alone. I'd also be okay if I weren't. Sometimes I think that maybe I'd just be more okay if I weren't. It didn't do so much for me last time, though, so I'm in no rush. I'm happy, I promise.

May be surrounded by a million people, I still feel all alone

I wanna go home.

Another year that moves to February 14th and another year I will spend it with my dad watching a sporting event, both of us doing our best to ignore all the damn people around us pretending to be happy. The spending of the day with dad isn't so bad. What I hate is that if I was home I would have at least a chance of spending it where and with who and how I want. Instead, I pretend like I don't know what's going on with him, pretend that he isn't spending it somewhere else with someone else and how she wants. It's been since mid June of last year that I decided I couldn't take it anymore, and tomorrow, exactly 8 months later, I'll wake again to the process of convincing myself that it doesn't matter and I'm over it. Then, as is every day, I'll make it through and start it all again on Friday, thankfully removed from the sappy overbearing overwhelming day that is Thursday.

At least a dozen pictures

I feel like I should be blogging more. I should be telling you how I am as homesick now as I was when I originally left. Also I would mention how my friends here kinda let me down sometimes. They aren't what my friends at home are, and therefore a less appealing way to spend my time. This development encourages me to spend more time at home, alone, which pretty much sucks.

I want to tell you how I've learned that most of the people around me are very judge-y... and mostly hypocritical. I know they don't realize it, they think they are being holy or whatever, but it still makes for many uncomfortable moments and draws from me nothing but silence. Their blatant critiques of everyone who is someone else also tends to make me more moderate than conservative and want to swear more or kiss a boy in public. These things just to prove that nice people do things on the edge of their judgement, but can still be nice people.

Anyway, instead I'll tell you that I miss you and I'll see you soon and save me some snow because damn it the sun shines so bright here it's sometimes as depressing as they say those places are where it never does.

I can't find the song

A short story in short sentences. There is this boy. We work together. Everyone at work thinks we should date. He doesn't talk. We don't talk. He reminds me of home. The end.

Know that I believe in you

Look who is FIFTEEN today::




Guess who is just a tad bit set aside by such a fact:: me.

Am. in. love. with. the. British.
That is all.

Grew up in the city in a little subdivision

I'm through with doubt. There's nothing left for me to figure out.

Just about everyone I know is doing the resolutions post or the what I loved about the past year post. Since I pretty much hated last year what with the heartbreak and the homesick and the general hell of becoming an unemployment statistic (TWICE... or more if you count that I was laid off from the same job like four times) and the rest of the crap that happened, you can understand why I'm not so excited to rehash it here with you.

Also, since I'm not big on making resolutions - because it seems so confining to set goals for an entire year on one stupid tired nap heavy day - I'm just gonna say that my goal for this year is to be happy. The mostly optimistic me is going to try to be even more optimistic. I want to see the good in everything. I want to stress less about the inevitable. And, who knows, maybe I want to find a really special someone to start brightening the dark depths of my unavailable heart.

So, bah humbug and all that jazz. Happy New Year.

A year in review :: some of the mostly good parts of the last one ::

No wonder there's panic in the industry, I mean please

Sprint service sucks. Sprint customer service sucks. Sprint's website sucks (down for almost two weeks now). The barely English speaking lady at the other end of the line said that the people I am texting must have blocked text messages, which is why I get a message for each and every text I send that says "the recipient you are sending to has chosen not to receive messages. Msg 2111". BUT? Msg 2111 "doesn't exist" in their system, so it's obvious that every. one. i. know. has. blocked. me. Sprint sucks. That is all.

PS. I love this song.